How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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Tough crowd tonight...

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops