What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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