What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Mullets

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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HURT

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops