Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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Your mom is so fat...

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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