a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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I LIKE TRAINS

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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my mind's eye?

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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AIDS

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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out of your comfort zone

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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