Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

oh no, i've lost my tractor

How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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