Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops