Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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Breast cancer.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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69

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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Jimmy Saville

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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