- Anti Joke

What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

What's the difference between a duck?

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

what smells worse then shit Drew White

Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

knock knock "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

A guy trips a blind man.

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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