homework

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

Your existance.

Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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