how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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i have yougurt with tractor

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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AJ enjoyed his trip to Pen Island

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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