So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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Woman's Rights

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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