Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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