Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

I am a nigger.

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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