I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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