What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Refridgerator.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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