Stop driving smart cars you fags

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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bite me

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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