Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops