That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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