What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops