Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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