Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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my mind's eye?

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right (common knowledge)? That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that changes all of his CNA (Cheerio DNA) into whichever type of cheerio that he wants. However, this machine performs a process that is extraordinarily painful, because that sort of thing would hurt. Anyway. He does it, and the normal flavored cheerio becomes a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, this girl cheerio hates him so much that she invents an identical machine and does the process on herself in order to become a cinnamon-apple cheerio, just so she can avoid this creeper. So, she does it. The boy cheerio is starting to get upset at this because he really wants her. So he tells himself that he will go through the pain for her, and becomes a cinnamon-apple cheerio. She then changes to a honey-nut cheerio! He decides that this is the last time that he will change cheerio type. He does it, and she changes one more time, into a normal cheerio - the kind he originally was. So he says out loud, "Okay, this is really the last time. If she changes again, I will just stay back with my family." So he becomes a normal cheerio again, and she doesn't change fast enough for him to put his moves on her. So, they start dating, and he finally asks her to the Formal Bowl (ahaha, get it, bowl instead of ball). Anyway, they get there and dance intensely for a few hours. They do all different kinds of dances. They do the tango, which was not very good. Also, they square dance, like rednecks. Finally, they get tired and she sends the boy cheerio to the milk bowl (you know, since it's a cereal dance, they have that and punch). He gets there and stands in line for ten minutes. Finally fed up at the really long line, he looks over at the bowl of punch and realizes there is no punch line.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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