Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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