Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops