How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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What is the name of the car? What

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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haha

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops