why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I had friends on the Death Star.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops