whats yellow after cani...nathan

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

Obama

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

Jebron Lames.

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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