Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

the economy.

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

Nickelback.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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