How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

Every human being has some kind of penis <3

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

Women's Rights..

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

Yo Momma So Fat!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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