How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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