Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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I'm homeless.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops