What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops