"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

Face...tastes like chicken!

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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