What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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