A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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