Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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