How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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tim has no humor

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your life

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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