What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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