.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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I dont have a girlfriend

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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