What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

hickory dickory dock no one cares

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

im gey

Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...