a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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guest what i love pancakes

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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