Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Adam Thomas is homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This is an anti-anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a black person call black friday? Friday

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops