What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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a horse walks into a blender ow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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