What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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Asians

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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Autism speaks but not really

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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