what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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bees knees

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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