Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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