what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops