what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Jesus was a good guy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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