Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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