How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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Stephen Walking.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Dylan is a person

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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