Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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69

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did the fish say? Moo

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops