Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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women's rights.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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Women.

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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