You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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You should never talk to strangers.

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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